It’s been a pretty good couple of weeks. Almost done with training which is definitely a good thing but kind of sad in a way. I got used to being in that training/classroom type setting so I know I’ll be missing some people, and the ability to hang with everyone. Looking forward to start work though, the real work. It may be a little crappy (a phone center) but I hope it’s not too lameo.

Anyways, It was a crazy and interesting weekend. I finally spilled the news to my other coworkers/friends about who I had a “secret” crush on.

It is really hard as a gay man to have a crush on someone that you kind of don’t talk to that often but see on a daily basis. There are so many things to consider. One, is this person even gay, two, if they are, are they single, and three, would they even be interested? There is so much to cover that it’s not easy. You can’t just walk to someone and say, “hey, I’m into you, what do you say?” Or something to that effect. At least I know I can’t. Not only am I too cautious, but also I’m not as confident.

But anyways, I finally told my other coworkers about it and I was so glad I did. One of them who actually does talk to this person (more than I do really) revealed that not only does this person have a girlfriend, but they live with them… It’s as if I had been juggling all these plates all these weeks and suddenly they all fell at the same time and shattered on the floor. Yeah, it was a little heartbreaking but such a relief at the same time. This whole weight just immediately slid of my being and allowed me to just breath and “move on”.

The truth is you don’t just move on just like that. It’s not like taking off a blanket or a piece of clothing. It’s still there, the feeling, the hope that maybe, just maybe, you might have a chance. It’s stupid to think that, but I know we all do it. Still, I know at least for me it’s done. Sure, I can still admire said person for their cuteness and my attraction won’t go away, but at least the hope of something more can end there…

Which leads me to the following. What is that saying, the best way to get over 1 addiction is to replace it with another? Yeah, so that’s basically what happened Friday night after I heard the news…

Not felling my happiest, I did what I most people do when they’re feeling down: I got drunk! Got introduced to this new shot, I think it’s called a Rupplemintz or something like that. It’s strong, minty and totally does the job.

Anyway, I was pretty much drunk and at the bar ordering my last drink of the night (it was around 1230ish). Just as I finished ordering I noticed someone on the other side of the bar sitting by themselves. Normally I would just stare and admire in nerdful admiration their cuteness and move on. Yet I thought to myself and said, what do I have to loose? Right? And to be completely honest, this person had similar physical like qualities almost to my most recent crush. So I went for it. Yeah, I’m really glad I did.

I ended up talking with this guy for the rest of the night. We were both drunk and we got kind of stupid to say the least and ended up with some sexy time. I won’t elaborate on that, but I’ll I’m saying that it was good and much needed.

Anyway, I don’t know what will happen now. I did tell this guy that I thought he was really cute and that I’m interested, but also that the ball is in their court. Guy was telling me something about an ex or recent boyfriend who is soon to be an ex or something to that effect. I told guy that I’m not interested in getting in  the middle of something already started, I’m not that person, but that with that being said, that I am interested and that the ball’s in their court. Anyway, I don’t know if he’ll remember, but I think that’s as far as I’m taking it.

I wonder, should I call this guy and start something up? I don’t know. I’m ok with nothing not happening. Or am I? I don’t know. For now, I’m happy with the memories.

Yeah, that’s lame, but meh, I’ve spoken my mind on the issue already. For now, I’m just focusing on the moment. And the truth is, I’m going to be very busy these next couple of weeks. There’s going to be a lot of change with work and starting school and home life adjustment for both me and my pups. I know it’s going to be stressful, so maybe it would be good for things to stay mellow for the next couple of months. I like to believe that things happen for a reason. All I’m saying is this, I had a great weekend, I don’t regret one thing and I’m looking forward to next weekend. And it feels so good to just write all of this down. =)

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