“And as he laid himself to sleep, he closed his eyes. He remembered those beautiful silver stone grey blue stones that will forever haunt him and remind him of a past he cannot forget. As he laid there he understood that you cannot forget your past, but you can put it behind you and move on. You can let go. It’s hard, and the choice doesn’t come easy, but it can be done. It must be done. He loved. And although the experience wasn’t how he wanted it, how he thought it should’ve/could’ve been, he felt love all the same. Forever grateful to have been able to witness such beautiful treasure. No regrets. It’s over now. And although he’s walking away now, for very different things, he understands the difficulties of his choices. They’re not easy, and the hurt will not go away that easily. He knows though, that he will learn, he will grow, and change will come regardless. Things will not always work according to plan, but you deal with what’s in front of you. He will never again say that things happen for a reason. He will put his fate in his own hands from now on. His choice, his decision. He will deal with the consequences. This, however, is one fight he cannot/will not take on. Sometimes you have to be strong enough to know that this is just too much for you. As he closed his eyes and remembered all that has transpired, he took one last breath and whispered, ‘tomorrow is another day. Change is going to come.’ He opened his eyes, looked at his nicely packed suite cases piled on the floor, and then laid himself to sleep.”

I’ve been scribbling again here and there. Notebook at work, snippets on my phone, pieces of paper here and there. It reminds me so much of the past, when I used to write all the time. I’ve missed it.

Music has been such a comfort too. So powerfully motivating. I go to sleep with certain songs in my head, and I wake up with a completely different song in my head. It’s like all these song are stored in my brain like an iPod. They come at you at the most opportune moment. It’s as if your brain is telling you, “this is what  you need to hear right now.”

I woke up with Alanis Morissette’s These R The Thoughts stuck in my head all morning long. I haven’t heard this song in years, but it decided to pop into my head this morning. Not to mention my random dream.

It was sweet. Completely random. And about someone I don’t even know, which I thought was the weirdest part. The point, after dissecting the dream, analyzing and deciphering it’s cryptic meaning, is that you cannot rush somethings. You take your time. The dream was quite nice, and it actually had a happy ending so to speak. I didn’t really finish it since I woke up with a “WTF” look in my face.

Still, I liked the dream. Maybe one day it will become a reality. For now, it’s been such a great week already. I think it’s been a much needed week/vacation. I feel refreshed in a way. Things have been put into perspective in sense. Nothing is clear, nothing is evident, nothing is certain, but I at least have a clearer understanding now. And sometimes… Oh sometimes, somethings are just meant to not be understood. Sometimes… =)

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